i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
even my farts smell like vagina
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
