i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
