dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
