no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
