But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize