I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
