I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
