I want to make a zoo with you.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
