remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
