I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
