Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I will pee on everything he values.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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