Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
