ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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