Apparently you make a good broom.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
