we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Randomize
