Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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