Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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