I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
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