I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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