How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
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