Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
we're making bets on your personal life
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
