Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
