Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
