I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
