A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
What a dumb baby whore.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Randomize
