Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
