either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
