What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
