Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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