haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
