Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
