if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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