2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
