Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
