So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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