i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
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