Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Randomize
