Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize