it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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