this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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