Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
