were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize
