I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Randomize