17 year olds will be the death of me.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
