His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
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