You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
