I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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