Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Randomize