he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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