Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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