Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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