I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
