I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
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