as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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