Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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