i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I think i peed on brittanys purse
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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