think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize