You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
