Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
