she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
