i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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